It's wasn't supposed to be this way, but since it is....2.0

 

March 2023

Oct 2023

Nov 2023

Dec 2023

1. Talk to someone outside the office.

2. Increase social activities.

3. Separate fantasy from reality.

4. Express your feelings through art

5. Remind yourself that these feelings don't define you.

6. Set boundaries.

7. Open up or remove yourself

16 Years has passed and more to go..

 

After sixteen years, this was the very first time that I felt I was shaking, confused, state of uncertain. I wanna shout a loud. Apparently, I'm attracted to someone which I couldn’t resist. Sleepless at night has become common to me nowadays. I keep searching for the correct ground, basis, and explanation for where this feeling is coming from.

The big question is, WHY NOW? Why I'm tested in such a situation? What is the push and pulling factor attributed to these feelings?

I knew the stake here was huge, literally very huge if I was unable to contain the situation correctly.

I’m in a deep dilemma. This isn’t right and morally wrong. Listed below are some of the AOC and challenges that I might face in the coming days. 

List of Challenges:-

1. Polarization and Cultural Identity.

2. Age gap and value background.

3. Economic and Education.

As a disclaimer and sincere confession, I have neither intention of becoming an unfaithful husband nor an irresponsible father. Don't start, don't even dare to try, you will burn down all the trust and memories that have been built for such a period of time. 

Proverbs from the eldest, "A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. While a man is tested when he has everything". But I literally don't have everything.

Question to ask before deciding career shift

 

Q1 : What is the main motivation that led you to make a prominent decision to resign from your current position?

Q2 : Are you experiencing that your current workload and responsibilities do not match with your salary and benefits?

Q3 : Are you encountering that you getting underpaid as compared to the market with similar positions and grades?

Q4 : Do you feel that your career path and trajectory are not clearly visible which led to making this decision?

Q5 : Are you having a resistant and difficult time working with your co-workers, immediate superior, HOD, and support department which resulted in your performance being at stake?

Q6 : In your opinion, do you feel about jobs and position insecurity by recent Company decisions and business direction?

Q7 : If the Company decided to counteroffer you, what is your new price tag, benefits, and position that you feel you deserve to be considered by the Company?

Q8 : If the Company asks you to stay a little longer (4 to 6 months) until we get your replacement, are you going to consider it?

Q9 : In your opinion and recommendations, who is in your subordinate's hierarchy that you believe is able and qualified to take out your role and responsibilities that you will leave behind?

Q10 : If the Company decided to disapprove your resignation, what would you do next?

 

 

Philosophy, Quotes, Abbreviation and Conversion

1. No permanent friends, no permanent enemies, only permanent interest.

2. Strong, Convincing and Formidable. 

3. Success is not a final, failure is not fatal, it is a courage to continue that count - Wiston Churhill.

4. Justice delay is justice denied.

5. Trust take years to earns but second to lose.

6. If you accept what is happening, it will not go too badly, if you resist, you will hurt yourself.

7. Memberi amanah pada yang layak, menjalankan hukum secara adil :  An Nisa Ayat 58.

8. Too little too late.

9. Too good to be true.

10. First right of refusal.

11. Right calibre and range of experience.

12. Salary is not entitlement, is a reflection of contribution.

13. Quid Pro Quo vs Quid Pro Bono.

14. For the sake of greater good.

15. QED : Quod Erat Demonstrandum (Which was to be demonstrated)

16. Res Ipsa Loquitur : The facts speaks for itself.

17. DNAA : Discharge Not Amounting to an Acquittal.

18. Art of Rhetoric.

19. Grandeur of Lies.

20. Master of Illusion.

21. Culture and Identity.

22. Existential.

23. Bias and Prejudice.

24. Micro Credential.

25. Employability/ Under Employment.

26. Education for higher productivity.

27. Hostile : Uneasy/ Unpleasent.

28. Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you are in harmony : Mahatma Gandhi.

29. Impetus : Dorongan/ Momentum.

30. 30,003 View : 30,000ft Bird Eye View, 3ft detail view.

31. A woman loyalty is tested when her man has nothing, while a man is tested when he has everything.

32. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting difference result. : Albert Einstein.

33. APEC : Asia Pasific Economy Cooperation.

34. TPP : Trans Pacific Partnerships.

35. Technical Competence.

36. Political Acumen : Ketajaman Politik.

37. Capitulate : Mengalah.

38. Equality before the law.

39. Bogus Argument : Argument Palsu.

40. Emerging : Kemunculan.

41. Undersell : Tawaddhuk.

42. Verbatim : In exactly same words.

43. PUU : Penasihat Undang-Undang.

44. Idioms : Simpulan Bahasa.

45. Acronyms : Abbreviations.

46. Tasco : Turn Around Safety Coordination Meeting>

47. EOI : Expression of Interest.

48. COI : Conflict of Interest.

49. SDG : Sustainable Development Goals.

50. VCM ; Voluntary Carbon Market.

51. Balance Sheet : A financial statement that reports a company's asset, liabilities and shareholder equity at specific point of time.

52. SME : Subject Matter Expet.

53. SSP : Smooth Start Up Program.

54. Vote of consciousness - Edmund Burke.

55. 1MMSCFD = 1040MMBtu/ day.

56. UDR : Unit Deducting Rider.

57. TPD : Total Permanent Disability.

58. NATO : North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

59. AD : Anno Domini (in the year of the lord)

60. BC : Before Christ.

61. Al Israa' Ayat 36 : "Dan janganlah engkau mengikut apa yang engkau tidak mempunyai pengetahuan mengenainya, sesungguhnya pendengaran dan penglihatan serta hati, semua anggota anggota itu tetap akan ditanya tentang apa yang dilakukannya".

62. MRO : Maintenance, Repair and Overhaul.

63. IOT : Internet of Thing.

64. OTOBOS : On Time On Budget On Schedule.

65. COBE : Code of Business Ethics.

66. D1BM : Design 1 Built Many.

67. POC : Proof of Concept.

68. FID : Final Investment Decision.

69. GUI : Graphic User Interface.

70. OCR : Optical Character Recognition.

71. BOT : Build Operate and Transfer.

72. BOOT : Build Own Operate and Transfer.

73. CRS : Comment Response Sheet.

74. GRN : Goods Receiving Note.

75. TSA : Technical Service Agreement.

76. RSC : Risk Sharing Contract.

77. Big 4 consultant : PWC, KPMG, EY, Delloites.

78. IQ : Intelligent Quotient.

79. EQ : Emotion Quotient.

80. SQ : Society Quotient.

81. AQ : Adversity Quotient.

82. Fiscal : relating to government revenue, especially taxes.

83. PAC : Production Acquire Contract.

84. The enemy of my enemy is my friends.

85. How to get away from murder

i. Discredit the witnesses.

ii. Introduce new suspects.

iii. Buried the evidences.

86. Low level of trust.

87. Robust.

88. Learning organization.

89. Iconoclast.

90. Politician of conviction.

91. Brown Nose. 

92. Innocent until proven guilty.

Kisah Ku Inginkan

 

Telah ku tentukan arah
Yang akan ku tempuh sisa hidupku

Kerana telah kutemukan

Kisah yang ku inginkan

Dan ku impikan

Sudah ku tambatkan hati

Yang selama ini belayar tak pasti

Kini telah ku temui

Kasih yang aku cari

Cinta yang pasti

Berakhir sudah pencarian jalan cinta

Belabuh diikatan suci kita

Berhenti sudah keresahan dalam jiwa

Kini aku dan kamu

Tak terbatas oleh waktu

Tak terlarang tuk menyatu

Kerna kau rasmi milik ku

Kita akan menjaga

Janji suci yang telah terikrar

Dan saling setia selamanya

Berakhir sudah pencarian jalan cinta

Belabuh diikatan suci kita

Berhenti sudah keresahan dalam jiwa

Kini aku dan kamu

Tak terbatas oleh waktu

Tak terlarang tuk menyatu

Kerna kau rasmi milik ku

Kita akan menjaga

Janji suci yang telah terikrar

Dan saling setia selamanya

Aku dan kamu

Tak terbatas oleh waktu

Tak terlarang tuk menyatu

Kerna kau rasmi milik ku

Kita akan menjaga

Janji suci yang telah terikrar

Dan saling setia selamanya

Aku dan kamu

Tak terbatas oleh waktu

Tak terlarang tuk menyatu

Kerna kau rasmi milik ku

Dalam ikatan janji suci yang telah terikrar

Dan saling setia selamanya

Tetap harus bersama

Mesti ragam mendua

Di dalam cinta

Selamanya

 

Photograph

 

Loving can hurt

Loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only thing 

That I know

And when it gets hard

You know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph

We make these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer 'til our eyes meet

You won't be ever alone

Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal

Loving can mend our soul

And is the only thing

That I know, know

I swear it will get easier

Remember that with every piece of ya, mmm

And it's the only thing we take with us when we die, mmm

We keep this love in a photograph

We make these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer 'til our eyes meet

You won't be ever alone

Wait for me to come home

And if you hurt me

Well, that's okay, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home

Cupid by Fifty Fifty

A hopeless romantic all my life

Surrounded by couples all the time

I guess I take it as a sign

(Oh, why? Oh, why?)

(Oh, why? Oh, why?)

I'm feeling lonely (lonely)

Oh, I wish I'd find a lover that could hold me (hold me)

Now I'm crying in my room

So skeptical of love (say what you say, but I want it more)

But still I want it more, more, more

I gave a second chance to Cupid

But now I'm left here feeling stupid

Oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn't real

Cupid is so dumb

I look for his arrows everyday

I guess he got lost or flew away

Waiting around is a waste (waste)

Been counting the days since November

Is loving as good as they say

Now I'm so lonely (lonely)

Oh, I wish I'd find a lover that could hold me (hold me)

Now I'm crying in my room

So skeptical of love (say what you say, but I want it more)

But still I want it more, more, more 

I gave a second chance to Cupid

But now I'm left here feeling stupid

Oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn't real

Cupid is so dumb

Hopeless girl is seeking

Someone who will share this feeling

I'm a fool, a fool for love

A fool for love

I gave a second chance to Cupid

But now I'm left here feeling stupid

Oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn't real

Cupid is so dumb

I gave a second chance to Cupid

But now I'm left here feeling stupid

Oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn't real

Cupid is so dumb